The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize