dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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