at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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