If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
