The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
