is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize