Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
