you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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