i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He better not be in your backpack
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
