Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
