So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
