I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
