The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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