But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize
