Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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