We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
