I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
