I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
