he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize