i will never coherently bang her
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
