She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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