So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
