Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
