This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize