so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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