gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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