Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don't tell me you're on acid again
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
