Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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