yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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