I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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