i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
