I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He did a backflip because drugs
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
