you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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