just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
