I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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