I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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