if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
