Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
