i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
