nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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