Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
