yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
