Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
