I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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