Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
