GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
