idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize