there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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