I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize