I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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