Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
