I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
