ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
