I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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