I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
