they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
