Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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