Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
