What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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