We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
